A Day With Dad

So finally, the day I have been dreading most this past year, has arrived. The memory of the most amazing day spent with my Dad. The memory that my sister and I will treasure forever. The memory that we tried to share with you at Dad’s funeral, but nowhere near did it justice.

That was because it was more than just a day with our Dad.

I’ll start at the beginning.

Two years ago, my Dad got us tickets to see a Wales vs New Zealand Rugby match at the Principality Stadium in Cardiff. My brother and his family had emigrated to New Zealand the year before so it was going to be a particularly poignant match. My Dad had also been given a terminal diagnosis of a rare form of Leukaemia, but he was responding well to treatments and he actually looked the best he had ever looked!

We were both slightly worried about the potential risk of infection to him being around such a huge amount of people in the city. And we both knew our pub crawling days on a match day were well and truly over! So Dad booked us in for a three course meal in an Italian restaurant in the centre of town before the game!

How many people get to spend such quality time with their Dad? It was just him and I against the whole world. I had cancer, he was going through cancer. We understood each other without words. We both loved Rugby! We both loved Cardiff and we both loved a beer or two! My Dad was always there for me no matter what. But most of all, he was my friend. How lucky am I?

Things I remember about that day:

The sun shining. Drinking limoncello shots. Dad eating different food (he was very particular with food!). Sitting in front row seats at the stadium. Unexpectedly sitting next to an ex boyfriend in the front row seats (slightly awkward)! Losing Dad outside the stadium! Dad texting my brother throughout the game. Me waving frantically as the television cameras went past! Having ‘one for the road’ in my favourite bar in Cardiff. Dad was loving it. There was a small band playing and people were dancing. We had quite a few ‘one for the road’! My Dad was happy and I couldn’t have loved being with him any more.

 

Fast forward to a year later. Dad’s health had started to deteriorate. We all silently knew he was living on borrowed time. But once again, Dad got us tickets to another Wales match at the Principality Stadium. This year, we thought we best include my sister! She was out of action the previous year due to a broken leg and I know she desperately wanted to join us.

Rory had an inset day on the Friday before the big game. Mum and Dad arrived at lunch time and we took them to the magical setting of the Winter Wonderland in Cardiff. Rory and I ice skated whilst Mum and Dad watched us mess around having fun on the ice! They totally spoilt him in the fair and Rory always talks about the time he and his Grandad shared a pot of Churros for the first time! I hoped with all my heart that we would all be able to do the same next year. We were also lucky enough to see Tim Peake’s spacecraft in Cardiff museum that very day! It was a very good day! If I remember correctly, it was the same day that mum made us all a lovely roast lamb dinner and then accidentally threw a jar of mint sauce all over my living room!!!

 

 

The next day, the morning of match day, all was calm in my house. And then my sister arrived!! An absolute whirlwind of fun and adventure! From that moment, it was the best day ever.

We walked through the streets of Cardiff, living life to the fullest. My sister and I constantly checking Dad was ok. He would never have said otherwise! We all sang the National Anthem. Trace made my Dad belly laugh. She always did!

As the evening drew in, Cardiff was a picture of beauty. The Christmas lights came on and it was just perfect.

We booked a meal for after the game this time. Unfortunately for my sister, she had had a previous mishap at the restaurant chain we were going to. Fortunately for us, she was given a substantial restaurant voucher as a measure of good will. I’ve never been to a restaurant where I didn’t have to check the price of things. We could all have whatever we wanted. It was amazing! Dad was very relaxed. Normally he would insist on paying for everything but he sat back and enjoyed being spoilt just like he deserved to be.

Trace and I giggled over many Pornstar Martinis!

Dad was distracted with watching the outside revellers either going home from the rugby or starting their celebratory Christmas nights out. There was a woman across the road playing an accordion. People were obviously enjoying her music as they were dancing in the street as they went past. Dad got up and went outside to listen. And when she was packing up to go, we gathered all the money we had and gave it to the woman just for making so many people happy! She didn’t have a clue what we were saying but Dad said Thankyou many times to her. He just loved music and the way it can make people feel.

On the bus home, the only thing left to do was to phone my brother in New Zealand and sing a medley of welsh rugby songs down the phone!

That was our perfect day with our perfect Dad. Never a day goes by that we are not grateful for that incredible, special time with him.

3 weeks later, Dad died.

He died knowing he was loved more than anything. Not just by his family, but by everyone who knew him.

In 3 weeks, it will be a year since he had to leave us. A year that has been indescribably painful. But in 3 weeks, after the tears there will be the celebration. The celebration of the life of my brilliant Dad. My Dad was everything and so much more to me.

I’m sure you will all join us in raising your glasses on the 6th December, to celebrate the life of my incredible Dad, John Murphy.

Thankyou for the most amazing memories. Love you Dad xxx