Im going to keep this one brief and let the photos do the talking!
Cancer is cruel. Cancer does not discriminate. Cancer devastates families.
I am forever thankful to be alive. Life is so very precious and can be taken away in a split second. For that alone, I appreciate life. I appreciate the people in my life. I love the people in my life and im not afraid to tell them!
I cannot and will not forget I had Cancer. I write and talk about it much more than I probably should but it helps me heel. Heeling is ongoing and always will be. But it is because I had Cancer, that I have new amazing friends in my life. Our paths would never have crossed without having had Cancer. I cannot be angry with Cancer for bringing such incredible people into my life.
Cancer brought me adventure! Cancer brought me fun and Cancer has given me amazing memories.
Im not saying by any means that having cancer was fun, it was beyond horrific and something I hope I never have to put my family through again. But somehow in the depths of despair following a painful diagnosis of cancer, living life in the moment and making the most of every opportunity, fuelled me on. It made me want to be adventurous, and seeing my son happy on these adventures, was more than I could ever have asked for.
There is a song from ‘Nickleback’ that sums up a few of my thoughts when I was having treatment:
“If today was your last day, and tomorrow was too late, could you say goodbye to yesterday”
“He said each day’s a gift and not a given right, leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind”.
If today was my last day, my family know I love them. My son knows he is my world and he has a million memories of us together to look back on.
I don’t have photos of me crying all night long, praying that I see my son grow up. I don’t have photos of how distraught I was when my hair started falling out and I had to shave it off. I don’t have the photos of waking up in hospital looking at my body for the first time without breasts. These are memories that will always be with me. Memories that I live with.
But I do have hundreds of photos that I cherish. All taken during and after my treatment. I am smiling in them because I saw another day to take a photo. I saw another day to go on another adventure. I saw another day. Far too many people don’t have that privilege. I smile because I owe it to all of the people who are no longer with us, to be happy and to live life to the fullest.
On World Cancer Day, and every other day, my thoughts are with everyone affected by Cancer.
Dad, I love you! xxx