A letter to my Son ….

Dear Rory

I can’t believe that when I see you next, you will be 6! You are still my baby and will always be my baby!

When you were an actual baby, I always wondered what you would look like as you got older. You slowly lost all of your baby curls and gradually changed from a baby to a toddler, to a now school aged boy!

I worried all of the time about whether you ate/slept enough. Whether I taught you enough or played enough. I still worry and probably always will. That’s what Mum’s do!

But I look at you now and realise that YOU taught ME everything.

You taught me that there is nothing we cannot do together. You taught me that by talking to each other, there is no problem that we cannot solve. You taught me that you will only eat and sleep what/when you want/need to! You taught me that you are your own unique, remarkable little person and that I need to listen to you more. I have learned to not do what I think I should do in haste which is often incorrect, but to think more about  what you need me to do. You taught me that’s its OK to make mistakes. I have never been a mummy before so we are learning every step of the way together as a team, Team Murphy!

It breaks my heart when you come home from school saying children have been mean to you. I will always protect you and try to teach you to find your own place in the world. I will teach you that there are mean people in the world, no matter what age you are. People say unkind words. But they are just words. The words will hurt, but you will get past them because I will be there to help you. Being kind is the most important thing and if your kindness goes un noticed, I will always know. I will teach you that hurting someone is not ok, but if need be, you must protect yourself by any means necessary, just like your Little Dragon’s training. You are my absolute world. Always remember that.

We have faced so many obstacles in the past 6 years together. And even when Mummy was so poorly, you were my little sunshine. Always bringing me hope and happiness. Your childhood has been somewhat different to most. Mummy is so sorry that I was poorly for a lot of it. You were my absolute angel though and never complained about having to come to the hospital with me time and time again. Everything we did and continue to do has been an adventure!

I will always remember our first camping trip! Your first sports day. Your first steps. The times you unexpectedly said “I love you”! The time you starting calling me “mum” instead of “mummy”! The time my heart ached for you after not seeing you for 5 days. The time you ate chicken pie! The time we went to Tenerife. I will take you back one day. And I will take you to Disneyland! We have so many more memories to make and I just cannot wait.

I am the proudest mummy! We have everything we need in life because we have each other. I can’t promise that I won’t get cross at times. I can’t promise that I won’t react the wrong way at times. I can’t promise that I won’t get poorly again. But what I can promise is that I will always love you, no matter what. Because our hearts beat together as one.

All my love, always and forever

Mummy

ps I love you to the moon and back!

pps I love you more than you love me, not possible!

 

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